Like most bad relationships, Kentucky Fried Chicken has been jerking me around. KFC leaves me with stomachaches, feeling nauseated, and usually full of regret. But just when I’m ready to say I never want it again, I get a taste of their greasy goodness and all is forgiven.
Well not this time.
Yesterday for lunch, I ordered KFC delivery… the Drumlets Family Feast. 8 pieces of fried chicken, popcorn chicken, 4 drumlets, mashed potatoes and cole slaw. Yes, that is a lot of food for one person. I figured I could eat it over the course of the weekend.
After eating Japanese food for the past week (which I love), I must have had a craving for grease and batter. I ate a few pieces and thought there was something slightly off about it.
Went about the rest of my day, no problems… even got some exercise in.
Ate 2 more pieces of KFC for dinner.
A couple hours later was laying on the sofa watching TV and started feeling cold. Threw a blanket on but started feeling even colder.
Eventually found myself wearing 3 shirts (long-sleeve), a winter jacket, and 2 pairs of pants… all while hunkered down under 2 blankets on the bed.
At this point I figured something was wrong. My body temperature plummeted and I felt like I was freezing.
I would have gone to the hospital but I literally could not do anything other than shiver uncontrollably.
No exaggeration – I thought I might die. My body felt like it was shutting down on itself and all I could do was shiver and feel weak.
And that pissed me off. Usually I love living alone, but the thought in my head was that I was going to die from Kentucky Fried Chicken and no one would find my body for days.
I then alternated between feeling feverish and feeling cold. It slowly subsided and this morning I am better – still a little chilly.
Thanks for ruining my weekend, KFC.
I always loved you but I don’t want you anymore. You are the worst thing to happen to me.