Woo is me

I was going through old columns from when I used to write for The New Paper.  I found this one titled “Woo is me” and felt it was timely – Valentine’s Day is on Saturday.  Like most guys, I find Valentine’s Day to be rather silly.  Valentine’s Day = scheduled, forced romance.  Well, this year I’m single so I need not worry about what to do on Valentine’s Day.

The column, from February 14, 2006:

Guy and girl meet. Realize they live and work near each other. They begin hanging out – very casual, calling each other, “Hey! I’m in the area, want to hang out?” A few weeks pass with them dropping by each other’s place and they realize they enjoy spending time together and that there is attraction.

Sounds like a great start, right?

If you’re a guy, for sure, this is a great start! But apparently, if you’re female, the realization of attraction in this situation is something that should make you mad!

What am I talking about? Wooing the girl.

The guy and girl realize they’re attracted to each other. Perhaps they even kiss and share happy sentiments. The girl then announces, “Wait! I’m mad at you, you didn’t even woo me!”

The girl clarifies that she is mad that there were no romantic dinners, no sweet gestures such as flowers, no planning for when they would see each other next… and displays an attitude such as she can not allow herself to like the guy because he did not “woo” her.

This is stupid.

If attraction develops through casual get-togethers, is there something invalid about it? Does a guy have to “woo” a girl through the traditional nonsense such as dinners and a movie in order for the girl to be comfortable with herself in liking him? Why doesn’t just hanging out count as wooing? I think that might actually be a better way of figuring out that you’re attracted to someone, through relaxed casual interactions where one is themselves rather than the forced charm of a date.

Even more nonsensical is for a girl to backtrack on their feelings because they felt that they were not wooed. It’s like saying, “We both like each other! But too bad, I need to feel like you put more effort into winning me over.” So even though the girl likes the guy, she will refrain from allowing herself to enjoy the sensation of attraction. I would love for a girl to explain to me how this is logical.

I have been in this situation a couple times, and from experience I can tell you one thing not to say in response to this. A girl started chastising me for not having wooed her properly. I was stunned at the ridiculousness of it, and decided to turn the tables on her. My comment: “You know what? I’m mad that you didn’t woo ME!” The conversation ended shortly thereafter. Good!

What’s the proper thing to do? Sure, it’s great for the guy to be romantic, and he will be, but does it make sense to penalize him for not wooing the girl at the beginning in this situation? To me, I consider it much better if attraction has developed while hanging out in casual get-togethers. It’s a sign that both are comfortable with each other and the attraction is a natural chemistry between the two.

Guys easily appreciate the good things that come their way. So when we fall into attraction with someone, it’s great! We don’t think about how the attraction came to be or what actions were taken, we just enjoy the sentiment. It’s simple – girl & boy like each other, why must it be so complicated?

Digg This
Advertisements

5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Lyna on February 12, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    I think what matters more is the romantic feelings that the girl gets when being wooed, rather than the act of ‘wooing’.

    Reply

  2. Posted by talk19 on February 12, 2009 at 11:36 pm

    @Lyna – true. I think regardless of how the people start feeling attracted to each other, eventually they would both want to “woo” each other and they would both enjoy it. Just because there may not have been romantic gestures at the beginning doesn’t mean there won’t be any further down the road!

    Reply

  3. Posted by kia on February 24, 2009 at 1:37 am

    do your thang

    Reply

  4. Posted by kia on February 24, 2009 at 1:40 am

    yes these two girls r both right and if u wont to get wooed than hay they missing out on somethan special

    Reply

  5. Very good post. I certainly love this site. Keep writing!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: