Cheating

The Straits Times has a fortnightly advice column by “relationship gurus” Allan and Barbara Pease.

In today’s edition, a wife wrote in talking about her cheating husband. Excerpt:

MY HUSBAND has cheated on me but he doesn’t want a divorce because his parents are still alive. He is not discreet and does not feel guilty. I have found a condom in his car and he goes for massages with extra services…” (it goes on to say how she is on medication for depression, sleeps in a different room from the husband, and how she hates him – plus he goes to China for 2 months at a time on work trips).

The advice given:

Barbara says: It is devastating when someone you love cheats on you. It is not surprising that this loss of trust is making you feel frustrated and is taking its toll on your relationship.

You need to take care of yourself first, especially since you have previously suffered from depression. Seek the help of a professional psychologist to help you work through these feelings of frustration and hatred.

Once you have worked out what you want and need from your marriage and life, talk these through with your husband and see if an outcome can be reached.

Allan says: Ask your husband why he is cheating on you. Be prepared to hear things that will hurt, but honest communication is essential in order to discover what he is seeking and why your marriage is having problems.”

Am I missing something?? Why don’t the relationship gurus suggest a separation? ADVICE: DIVORCE. So what if the husband doesn’t want a divorce because his parents are still alive.

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